Wanted: Iyer Adonis

In the start of this month, we had some functions at home, like those typical south indian functions where women are clad in beautiful expensive "pattu" sarees (a silk sari worn by south indians especially in tamil nadu) and men are mostly in "off white pattu" mundus (silk dhoti) and angavastram (a silk shawl like cover)..

Very typically, we the kids are mandatorily made to wake up at wee hours 4am...sheesshh...why cant our functions be like the northies..starts at 12am or 1pm only... ohh back to early morn...4am and have an oil bath..

Amidst all this, I was bored and wondering...why am I made to sit all decked up like a temple cow with a garden of jasmine flowers on my head? And aunties coming and slyly advising me to act coy...and mom giving me killer looks when i think of gobbling a whole yummy laddu with a O shape cheek...Grand-mom giving that stop-giggling looks when i burst out laughing at something....

Mystery uncovers...and seems that some boy's mom is here to "check me out" for her sonny boy and according to my aunts the son is a most eligible, most wanted, perfect iyer..(atleast I should have been informed about MIB in my house)
ohhhh kayyyyy but 
if that is so then....why cant i be me? Why do I have to fake coyness?
I mean seriously, I do not understand this "ladylike" behaviour..Maybe it means don't laugh? always portray a half-closed-eyelid-look?
Maybe

Ofcourse, this "boy's  mom" did her detective work...and seems to be satisfied with what she saw and wants me to "meet" the so-called perfect boy...
Apologies...perfect iyer boy
How dumb of me to expect a hot Adonis to enter my premises....well....nothing wrong in hoping....

I  made my best heroine turn...flicking my oil-clad chipku hair....to see a 6 foot tall shiny 80's styled white pants and shiny shirt, south indian movie's villan gang extra standing next to me... *sigh*

I gave my most dagger looked at my mom...grandmom...my aunties who were obviously very happy with the rajnikant look-alike)..to top it all...i see my cousins giggling ... adding fuel in already raging fire

Why Lord Why? Why do u hate me so much?

I swear God,  (Main Geeta k hot bhai pe hath rakh ke kasam khaati hu) that I will never have an extra piece of candy..I will never steal a papad from my bro's plate, I will never say no to bhindi (lady's finger)..I will learn to make a perfect sambaar...I will get up by 7am on weekends...Promise....but please....please i beg of you..I can't be seen alive with a "bling bling right out of Tollywood B grade movie side-kick"

No, Im not being mean to the guy..im just in my self pity mode so, Please say Tatasthu and send me an Loving, caring, settled, Iyer Adonis..

Amen!!