Valentine Special: My Chatroom Girl

Every Valentine's day does deserve a love story. Mine is not exactly what I would call a love story, it more like a dumb story of ego, confusion, ignorance, and too much reliability on others opinion than the opinion of my heart.

I still remember the day so clearly, It was a lovely winter evening when I was fooling around on the Yahoo Chat. Her id suddenly caught my attention, honkoponkoponk Yea, this was her id.
I didn't know whether it was a guy or a girl or what. I just loved the id, so I pinged the honkoponkoponk and got a reply.
After 45 mins of our chat I realized, that she is the one I want to be with. I had not seen her picture, I had not heard her voice, I didn't know if she was for real or a prank id.
All I knew was, I want to be with this honkoponkoponk.

I was in Nashik, and she was in Mumbai then. After that day we started chatting almost everyday. One day without a chat with her would be one of the most dreaded days then. I wanted to hang on every letter she typed. It was something about the way she said things, something about  the way she understood me even without seeing me. She could sense my mood so perfectly, her words then made me forget all my worries. The world just seem to be perfect in my small little cyber world.
I was madly in love with her. Now, all my friends knew that I was crazy about this mystery honkoponkoponk.

 But, I could never gather enough courage to tell her that. My friends said that she might not be the one for me. Their opinion hazed my love for her, I was confused. She wasn't giving me any signs that she feels anything me either, my ego was too strong to see that one day I might push her away.


After chatting for 1 year 3 months and 22 days,popped up the name Honkoponkoponk  with a HeyHo on the chat, I could sense that she wanted to eagerly tell my something.
Hell broke loose on me..
She is engaged to be married...my heart started beating wild, my head felt heavy and dizzy,... No No...No...this cant be happening to me... I have lived every breathing moment dreaming of a perfect life with her....Maybe God sensed my feelings and the internet line went dead....

I was heartbroken, out of frustration of being left alone I got married to another woman that year. Someone I never loved.

On 18th November, she pinged me suddenly, her name honkoponkoponk on my screen, brought back all the memories, tears appeared out of nowhere, She just wrote one paragraph and vanished.

Hi, I just wanted to tell you that my wedding was called off after 3 months, I wanted to tell you that I loved you always. I didn't know if you felt the same. You told me that your friends think am not good enough for you, so I never told you how I felt. I wanted to know what you think. I tried to tell you in subtle ways that I love you but you always changed the topic. I lost hope. I know you are married. I have checked your Facebook a 100 times all this while. I had to tell you that I love you one last time. Good bye Krishy.

My heart stopped beating then, the room started spinning..my stupid ego, others opinions, ignorance about her feelings,... all this was too overwhelming. I wanted to scream and cry real loud. I clenched my chest so hard, that my heart would have bursted out. I fell on the floor weeping for losing the only woman I ever truly loved.
That was the last time I ever saw my honkoponkoponk. 

Now, even the id doesn't exist. I have still not seen her, I have heard her voice though. I will never forget that lovely, sweet, honey-dipped voice.
She will always remain in my heart as My love....My Honkoponkoponk....

Happy Valentines Day Sweetheart!!!!

Image Courtesy: Google Images/Yahoo chat window