I was suddenly wide awake, in my pitch dark room,the curtains were drawn and I couldn't even guess the time.So, I frantically move my hand on the bedside table and find my phone that is hooked to the charger, I see the time it's 3.45 am. I plug in the phone and keep it inverted on the side table because I didn't want the screen to light up the whole room.
I was on the bed on my side, facing my right hand. And a passing thought came by.
What if that accident wouldn't have happened?
What if I didn't have this scar?
Then suddenly I realize 10 years back today, on 25th February, somewhere around 1030-11 am,I almost hugged death and ditched him.
10 years back at this very hour I had a perfect bone structure and an unscarred body.
Tears started flowing on my face onto my pillow, I tried not to make a sound and wake Awin who was peacefully sleeping beside me.
I am not this emotional about my accident after a decade, I thought maybe it was hormones
Maybe it was emotions of the trauma I went through emotional, mental and physical.
Maybe the tears were for the people I lost, for the years I lost, for the opportunities I lost, for a career I lost.
Then I realized, I gained a lot too, I met beautiful people, I got closer to my family, I got closer to my inner self, I got my real friends who stood by me. I go my confidence and the courage to face anything I life head on.
I don't know if I should be happy that it happened and I survived and got through or
Be sad that it happened and think of the pain that i went through
Now, it feels like a story when I tell people what happened, a story where I am the hero, the villain, the damsel in distress and I am my own knight.
Its been a decade, things are definitely different, positive and very happy but somewhere deep inside a silent thought lingers, What if the accident wouldn't have happened?
What if?
I was on the bed on my side, facing my right hand. And a passing thought came by.
What if that accident wouldn't have happened?
What if I didn't have this scar?
Then suddenly I realize 10 years back today, on 25th February, somewhere around 1030-11 am,I almost hugged death and ditched him.
10 years back at this very hour I had a perfect bone structure and an unscarred body.
Tears started flowing on my face onto my pillow, I tried not to make a sound and wake Awin who was peacefully sleeping beside me.
I am not this emotional about my accident after a decade, I thought maybe it was hormones
Maybe it was emotions of the trauma I went through emotional, mental and physical.
Maybe the tears were for the people I lost, for the years I lost, for the opportunities I lost, for a career I lost.
Then I realized, I gained a lot too, I met beautiful people, I got closer to my family, I got closer to my inner self, I got my real friends who stood by me. I go my confidence and the courage to face anything I life head on.
I don't know if I should be happy that it happened and I survived and got through or
Be sad that it happened and think of the pain that i went through
Now, it feels like a story when I tell people what happened, a story where I am the hero, the villain, the damsel in distress and I am my own knight.
Its been a decade, things are definitely different, positive and very happy but somewhere deep inside a silent thought lingers, What if the accident wouldn't have happened?

























