What is Love?

When you go home after a long time, your mother cooks all your favorites, if that isn't love, what is?

When you go to your city after a year, your father walks all the way to this particular shop that you love, to buy your favorite chips, if that isn't love, what is?

When you arrive late in the night, and your brother drives for over an hour just to pick you up, if that isn't love, what is?

When you are tired and your husband takes over the complete responsibility of the house and cooks a tasty meal for you and lets you sleep longer, if that isn't love, what is? 

When you suddenly get hurt, and tiny little fingers pat you on the back and hold your face in their little hands and their cute eyes full of concern, if that isn't love, what is?

When you are at work, and there is a lot on your plate, and your friends brings you a cup of coffee and says, it looks like you need this, if that isn't love, what is?

Love isn't always flowers, hearts and ballads, love are also these little moments

Cherish everyone, Cherish Everyday

#QuarantineTales: That Work Call - WFH

PC

I was on a scheduled work call.
The meeting was getting heated up.
I made a point, which I felt was the need of the hour.
There were no acknowledgement.
There were no appreciation.
There wasn't even a mention.
I was a bit dejected.
After a while, another colleague made the same point
Everyone, thanked him for bringing it up.
I felt hurt this time.
But, remained quiet. Its a work call right?

I made another important point which I was preparing on for a while.
This fell into deaf ears too.
I felt, no one cared of my point of view.
I wanted to, log out right away.
But, I couldn't because, Its a work call right?

The call was about to end, everyone was saying Goodbye's
That's when I realized, that I have been on "Mute" all this while.

I smiled at myself sheepishly.
I said, an "oops"
And promised myself, not to overthink and never to doubt my abilities.

#QuarantineTales: Thank you Corona!

PC

Its lock-down and we are at home
I learnt that health is more precious that luxury
I learnt to appreciate tiny things that don't cost money
I learnt to appreciate the nature,
I love the blues of the sky, the greens of the trees
I started to notice the trail of ants on the wall
I smiled at the tiny plant growing on my gate
I cried at the sound of ambulance far away
I prayed for safety of my loved ones and the world
I wished to go back to work
I realized how much I love my office

Thank you Corona, in a way I am humbled by you

Curd Rice

I think, curd rice is one of the best things created in the south of India. Its tasty, healthy, and so versatile. Curd rice has many memories attached to it too.

PC

Like, when we were kids, during summers we used to go to our grandparents place, during lunch grandpa used make a circle around grandpa. He would give us each ball of curd rice, and we would make a well in it, and grandpa would pour vetta kozambu (a south Indian dish with tamarind). We would fight for the last piece because that is the creamiest and the yummiest part.

Its also one of the easiest to make too.

My favorite is curd rice, with mustard-chili tadka and grated cucumber and pomegranate seeds in them.
I mean imagine, rice and curd mashed with each other in a buttery consistency, with cut  green mango pickle or nellikai oorkai , kadugu maanga

Curd rice can had with any veggie, any kootan, molakootal just about anything.
It can be had with, chips, papad
It can be had with mor molaga, the nice crisp fried chili.

Its almost a must have at the end of any meal. Like, even if I have a meal in a super fancy restaurant, I need my cup of curd in the end.
I can just go on about curd rice.

Oh man, I am salivating just thinking about curd rice.
Curd rice is heaven on our plates.

Life after Corona

I wonder if life will ever be the same after this lockdown.
In the back of my mind, I will always have the fear if someone coughs or sneezes beside me
I might wash my hands 10 times more than before.
I might dread any kind of fever hoping its not Corona.
There might be a lot of behavioral and emotional changes in people
Life will certainly not be the same anymore

Learning a new language

Friend " Can you teach me Tamil?"
Me "yeah sure"
Friend "Teach me some abuse words" (Gaali)
Me *Meh*

Friend 2 "Can you teach me your language"
Me "Ok"
Friend 2 "How do you say I Love You in Tamil?"
Me *Really*

Okay, now this is a common conversation, the first thing people want to learn in a new language is either gaalis (slangs/abuse words) or I Love You. 
Now, seriously tell me, if you go to a new place, how are you going to survive with just gaalis?
Or How many times and to whom are you going to say I Love You too?

I would rather learn the words for food, water, washroom, hotel and anything useful with which I can get away from the traffic cops.

I am sure neither gaalis or I Love You  is going to be helpful in a land where you do not know the language.

#Barathon Day 3: Three Is a Crowd

They were a happy couple, no doubt in that space. They had been married for 12 years, they looked absolutely adorable together.
Initially, for the first 2 years, they did not want a baby since they wanted to be financially and emotionally ready for a baby. Then, later their career progressed and neither of them were ready to take the responsibility of a baby. 5 years went by, they started trying to conceive, they tried naturally for a year, it did not happen.
They consulted doctors, and realized that they might need to go for IUI or IVF procedures.
They did go through the painful IVF's trice, which drained them emotionally, mentally, physically and financially. Finally, after few years, they gave up.
They travel, they meet friends, they look happy together, they have everything, but when they are alone, they long for a little baby that called them "Mummy & Daddy"

Last, week she has been feeling sick, she has been drowsy all day and feeling faint. All day, she has been having the pukey feeling. She looked pale. So he suggested a doctor's visit, the physician told her everything was fine, but asked her to do some blood tests just to rule out any possibility of internal infection.
The blood test showed a result that was totally unexpected and a shocking surprise. It tested positive for pregnancy.
They could not believe it so they did a home pregnancy test five times and all showed dark double lines. Even that wasn't convincing for them, so they went for an ultrasound and saw a tiny thing wriggling in her tummy. She was confirmed to be pregnant after 12 years, at the age of 38.
Their happiness knew no bounds.

They say Two is a Company & Three is a Crowd...Is it really?

Sometimes when we chase something we might not get it, but when we stop chasing, miracles can happen.

This post is written for #Barathon Day 3, Theme: Three is a Crowd

#Barathon 2018: Day 2: Lesser of the Two evils

I am you. You are me. But, I feel I am nicer than you
I hate you with all my heart. I hate what you do to me
I hate what you make me do.
I am nice, I am the lesser of the two evils

I try my best to see that you do not take over me
I tear my hair, I cry my eyes out
But, you get to me faster and I hate myself all over again
But, deep inside I am nice, I am the lesser of the two evils

You made me lose the people I love
You made me do things that I dread
I stand here and fight with you, to an outsider I might look like I am talking to myself
But little so they know that the bigger evil is you.

I am going to end this tonight
I am going to put up with a fight
There is no right or wrong here. All is just wrong
I will not let you take over me ever again
I am the lesser of the two evils.

I turn back and look into the mirror, a sudden realization hits me
It was never you, it was always me.
I am evil, I am bad, there are no two evils but one
And the one is me.

The realization has hit me hard
I am not sure what to do.
But, I am going to do a favor on everyone
And go away forever, I cut my wrist and smile.
I see the evilness flowing away from me
I see light, I see heaven.

I am not running away this time, I am slowing down to look back
I am sorry for hurting everyone around

But, I am the evil, I am the nice, I am me

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Mental disorders are very hard to detect. It needs care and compassion. It can be treated. Take one step forward and there are million hearts ready to help. Suicide is no solution. Living life and facing problems needs guts.

This post is written for Barathon Day 2: Theme is Run/Sprint/Marathon/Chase

#Barathon 2018: Day 1: One Too Many

We had a heated argument regarding a prolonged issue at home. I hated myself for saying things I shouldn't have, I wanted to cry out loud, but I didn't want to look like I am weak or I am losing the argument.
So I put on my running shoes and ran out of the house, I jumped down alternate stairs. I ran on the street without knowing which direction I am heading to.

In the mid of a weekday afternoon, running on the street wearing home clothes, running shoes and million stares did not matter. My mind was busy evaluating of what went wrong, we were happy, why did this issue come up, what can I say to convince them that I am right.
Tears stung in my eye but refuse to flow.

I ran a few blocks, I saw kids alighting the school bus, I saw mothers with toddlers, I saw a few cabs, I saw people smiling and helping each other. Seeing people, made me momentarily forget my problems, but I couldn't find an answer to my issue nonetheless, but it didn't hurt that much now.
I wondered, how a few people can have so much influence in my life, that even their simple words could make so much impact to my being.

PC

I asked questions to myself, but couldn't get any answers.

I ran, I ran some more, I reached the garden in the end of the road which had a lot of trees. The flowers bloomed, the kids played. It was a happy place, I could feel my feet slowing down. I stopped to smell the freshly tilled earth, I stood there for a few moments to smell the roses.

I saw a man cleaning old leaves, then I realized, nothing lasts forever, the dried old leaves were green and happy once. Some wind blew them down, and they lie there rotten.
Instantly I got answers to my problems, my family is my forever, and they won't last. I can't stop one issue from ruining my happy place.

So I started running again, but this time with a smile on my face. I wanted to run as fast as my feet could take me. I have made up my mind to apologize and I promise myself that this time we will find a solution without flaring tempers and tears.

My running shoes helped me find gratitude on a day when I thought was the gloomiest.

This post is written for Barathon Day 1 - Theme of Day: Run/Marathon/Sprint/Chase

#CTT Top Indian Blogs

I got the idea for this post after my blog Indian Drama Queen got listed under Top Indian Blogs Directory for the first time in the eight years that I have been blogging.

PC: giphy.com

Thank you everyone, who made this possible and special thanks to the team of Top Indian Blogs.

Today, I feel like a proud mommy. *happy tears*

If my blog was a person, I would have ran towards it with the DDLJ BGM playing and hugged it. 

#DAshTalks He is having affairs :-(

I have to confess, after getting married and coming to this city, I have become technically quite sound, thanks to Awin. But, the flip side of it is.

Now, AWIN IS HAVING AN AFFAIR...actually not AN AFFAIR he is having three AFFAIRS and I know it

He keeps talking to those women. He keeps asking them things and advice. He needs them to remind him about stuff. At times, they even make him laugh. Its so painful at times, when I think that he is busy working in his home office when I suddenly hear him say 

"Hey Cortana, Turn on office room light" 

"Hey Google, play music"

"Alexa, tell me a joke"

I feel so left out. I guess, its time I remind him that I am the WIFE. 

Note to him: You sleep on the couch for the next 10 days*

*and whatever else that might come to my mind later shall be applied 

CTT:10 Irrational things that I worry about

Some irrational things that I worry about

1. When I eat a hard candy, I worry that I might break my tooth.

2. When I show my id at the airport, and the security looks at me, I feel that he might pull me aside and tag me as terrorist and say that my id is fake.

3. When there is turbulence is the flight, I am sure that we are going to crash and die.

4. I close the bedroom door before I sleep, if its not closed I keep staring at it before I sleep, in my head I imagine a ghost walking in my living room or coming in the bedroom through the open door.

5. When I am standing on my balcony and drinking coffee, I worry that if my coffee mug falls and hits someone, I might become a murderer and I can't even run away the people in the opposite building would have seen me.

6. When I go shopping and get into the trial room, I worry that I might get stuck inside a dress halfway through and it would be embarrassing to call someone to help me out of that dress.

7. After sending an official email, I check the "Sent Items" atleast twice to make sure that I have hit the Reply button or the Reply All button.

8. Whenever a dog howls after 10pm, I am convinced that there are ghosts around.

9. When any of my loved ones are travelling, I always feel that they might meet with an accident.

10. When I wear I saree, I am totally convinced that I am going to trip on it and fall on my face and my saree will come off.

What irrational things do you worry about/

#Dashtalks: Ivy Gourd

Background of the conversation:
Ivy gourd is called tondlee in Marathi, tindey in Hindi and Awin hates that vegetable because of its name

Awin: Who names a vegetable Donlee

Me: Its Tondlee

Awin: Tonlee is no good name either, I mean, what this thing is some Bruce Lee Jet Li family or what? Some attitude this vegetable has got

*he continues to rant*

Awin: Look at it, staring at me like a fat worm. Such a dumb looking vegetable

Me: How can a vegetable look dumb?

Awin: If its Donlee, it can look dumb 

Me: Just finish your dinner. Its good for health

Awin looks at the curry on his plate and says I am eating you only because my wife says so, I still think you are a stupid vegetable

*While I smile from the kitchen*

#DAshTalks Is it our Wedding Anniversary?

PC: giphy

Late night, a week before our wedding anniversary

Me: We need to book a table somewhere for this Sunday right?

Awin: Why this Sunday?

Me *with excuse me? Are you serious look* You have no idea, do you?

Awin: Err...I do...*checks Google calendar* Oh....Anniversary? Yes..Yes..Anniversary...What else could it be..Ha Ha...

PS: Now I am wondering, If it wasn't for the Google Calendar, could I have demanded a huge gift for forgetting our anniversary?

#DAshTalks Moti-Waiting Talks

PC

One chilly evening after work, while I was enjoying my green tea, this conversation started to brew;

Me: I was 48 kgs 3 years back...How can someone put on so much in 3 years?  The Google, obviously says I am overweight for my height





Awin *comes close, hold my hand,looks in my eyes and very sweetly says* Hey, You aren't over-weight, You are just under-height. Chill! 

This man knows exactly how to make me smile. It feels so Moti-Waiting now

#DashTalks: Kabali Wife

NOTE: This blog post will be relevant to the Tamil or Tamil knowing reader population

*Me in a filmy mood enters home after work*

Me: Naan vanduten
Tirumbi Vanduten nu
Karthaley epdi poneno apadiye tirumbi vanduten
Pondaati Daaaaa

Awin: *no expression stares as if he doesn't recogonize his PONDAATI*

PS: Non-tamil understanding folks.The above dialog is stolen from the movie KABALI.
Play the video for the original dialog.

Magizchi!

Video courtesy Youtube

CTT: Labels

I am labels

I was born and labelled as my parents daughter

In minutes I was labelled with my religion,my stars, my relatives

Over the years the labels increased

Some labels fell off

Some were ripped that left a mark on me

While some just got into my skin and might stay for life

I am a set of labels for life

So, are everyone else

This post is inspired by one line on Twitter by someone who's name I don't remember anymore

PC

CTT: Reflections

She stood in front of the mirror and saw the reflection of her eyes

So much hurt, in there lies

She put black kohl in one eye and looked up that mirror again
While one eye looked happy, the other reflected her pain

She carefully covered the bruises under her eye

The thoughts of it only made her cry

She applied a crimson red lipstick, for it hid the bloodied red scar

Her smile seems to be lost very far

To the world, she looked happy & shiny as a star

Somewhere deep down happy is the only emotion that her heart yearned for

PC

#DAshTalks Reasons Why He Resigned

Why Awin resigned from his Chauffeur job, yesterday evening #SnobAlert

CTT: Lessons Learnt After My Wedding Shopping

I got married a few years back, and since its the wedding season and a very close friend of mine is getting married. I thought maybe I should wear my "Auntyji" cap and share the top five lessons I learnt after my wedding about wedding shopping

1. I spent all of my savings for my wedding - Bad idea
Keep a budget in mind for everything. Wedding is just one day. Use that money for honeymoon, or beautifying your new home after the wedding day

2. Do not spend too much on heavy sarees and lehengas. It's OK to rent them (if the elders are ok with it)
Trust me, when I say that you are never going to use them again. I haven't worn my wedding reception saree or the other sarees, after my wedding day, simply because they were too OTT for any simple event. They were too attention grabbing for any other wedding.
My mom got my five more sarees for the "just in case" functions which also have been worn maybe once in the first year.

3. Leave a decent margin while stitching those pretty blouses.
I regret not doing that. I have bloated enough to not fit in any of my wedding and pre-wedding blouses. A margin will ensure that you can use those blouses for a while (PS: I am on the verge of giving up on those beautiful embroidery work blouses *sheds tears*)

4. Invest on daily wear outfits, footwear and things.
Buy good kurtis, shirts, a few party salwar kameez, light weight sarees.
You are going to be invited for lunches and dinners at many relatives places on both sides, and obviously you won't be wearing your zari or embroidered heavy outfits. These things will come to your rescue

5. Avoid buying make-up that you don't already use.
You will have a make-up artist coming in for your special day and after that I am sure you won't walk around looking like a Christmas tree, three months after the wedding.
I used to read a lot of articles on what-a-bride-must have things. I got myself make-up things that I don't even know how to use, after a year they just got dumped in the thrash.
Buy, what you use now, buy what you think can be used later too

Those are my top five lessons from Your Very Own Drama Wali Aunty