Friday, April 20, 2012

Tax-eeeeeewww

I read a survey somewhere, 1 glass of cutting chai in Mumbai has 57 taxes levied on it..Shocking isnt it?

The same day i received an sms

Dear God,
Please give me strength to pay my IT, GST, VAT, CST, Service Tax, Sales Tax, Luxury Tax, Entertainment Tax, Excise Duty, Customs, Octroi, TDS, ESI, Property Tax, Stamp Duty, CGT, IGBT, Water Tax, Profession Tax, Road Tax, STT, SEZ, Education Cess, Corporate Tax,Wealth Tax, TOT, Captial Gain Tax, Conjestion Levy etc etc....ohh and not to forget Hafta, Donation, Bribes, Chanda etc.
If i have some money left then I will do my business till it survives the riots, bandhs and vandalism by political goons
Sincerely,
AN Indian

What does it show?

Service Class..the Aam Aadmi is the most screwed up thing in this country.

I being an employee of a MNC, I travel far hanging in trains, getting stuck in the rains..just like thousands of others, work my guts out all 30 days a month and get what? Price hike, recession, reservations...why?
Where does all my tax money go?

1000's of people hang in the crowded local trains, squeeze into crowded buses, go through dug up road, cut through heavy traffic, face power cuts at home....
then these shameless politicians come in their bullet proof cars that runs on the petrol money paid by us and their driver's salary, their house expenses, their wife's and girlfriends clothes, jewellery, their son's dope, daughter's wedding.. everything paid out of our hard earned money...to top it all..the politician will ask "kharcha pani" to pass my "hakk ka paisa"

Walk in the market once, these dayz the cost of 1kg chicken equals to the cost of 1kg tomatoes..ohh seasonal fruits sell at premium rate..soon fruits like mangoes will be sold in a Gold jewellery shop..

Still our govt expects educated class to contribute for the "welfare" of our nation.
Why would a sane educated man slog his ass off over here when he can do the same out of this country and get paid three times more and live a luxurious life..
They say ours is a democratic country...I ask..is it really? no..
A person who speaks his mind gets beaten, killed, threatened, exiled...WTF

And we say  "Mera Bharat Maahan"...Sau mei ne 99 beimaan" (Read: Politicians)

Monday, April 2, 2012

Mumbai Local

From a commuter's point, I have always been a "bus person"---meaning...all my life I have traveled in buses to college, to work, to wherever..and frankly I'm supremely comfortable with Mumbai BEST, NMMT, TMT buses..
Now suddenly, my work demands me to go by train...and trust me trains terrify me...no particular reason as such.

Actually i have a few reasons to list down
1. Fast trains always come in IST (Indian Sarkari Time) a.k.a Late
2. Just too much crowd..
3. 3rd class snobbish women in 1st class compartment..
4. Experienced women  have mastered the art of pouncing, kicking, hair-pulling and bullying the innocent newbie's..
5. Free massages anyone?
6. Wanna listen to random gossip? Try listening to any conversation going on in the train -- Entertainment guranteed


Lessons I have learnt from Mumbai chi lifeline -- The local train

1. If you accidentally push any fat aunty..jus give the dumbest possible smile and say a loud Sorry
2. New survival techniques -- hang on to the sides else you either go right in or right out
3. Do not (Exta Bold, Font Size 72) get into an argument especially about flying hair ponytail or a flying dupatta....Its like a Criminal Offense
Ohh btw...when the fight involves other women and not you..it sure is entertaining to see...
4. Push Pull  Technique-- to get down Push else you will automatically get pushed...to get in Pull all your senses together and get hold of anything that looks like a handle..else you will be standing staring at the moving train
5. Proper Safety measures -- Make friends...known faces..make a group...you will be safe..rest assured
6. Take care of your belongings -- Hold on to your bag like its your baby..else you will have the straps ripped apart
7. Never ask for 4th seat in a 1st class compartment..they look at you as if you are dancing naked with a chicken on your head
8. Optimum utilization of space -- I have learnt to squeeze myself in the tinniest possible crevice in the compartment
9. Stress Buster -- Crib about jus anything Mother in law, boss, women, Government..just anything that comes to your head and in return you get sympathetic smiles, nods and sometimes even supportive comments

NOTE: After you get off the train mandatorily check if you have you hands, legs, fingers, toes, hair, head, bag, both sides of the headphones in place

Have a safe a journey and travel back in One piece