You know, all this while I wanted to be married, like this November-December is supposedly some super shubh mahurat or something. I have been to at least 78 weddings and still counting.
And I realized, only GETTING married is fun..(Read GETTING real loud)..like princess for a day...shopping...spa...new wardrobe..stuff...post marriage...rather post honeymoon period doesn't sound so much fun...
I spoke to a few of my (middle class and upper middle class) friends* and relative* women who are recently married, like a year or maybe 2.
I specified middle class and upper middle class because the Richie rich's have cooks and don't work for a living
All of them seem to be so stuck up. Meaning get up at 6, cook, go to work, come back, cook, clean. ..sleep...they hardly even get to have a proper talk with their partners...
and its obvious...a tired partner will lose his or her cool and fights happen...
Weekends too get up as early as 8am (god, I have very rarely seen 8am on a Saturday)... weekend goes in cleaning..attending social functions as a couple...and those must-go obligatory lunches and dinner you get invited to..and if sports...and newspapers and other distractions are through that the couple would talk...if its not bedtime by then that is...
You have to look proper too, since you are the bahu of the house
It was shocking, to hear that a year old or a little more, couples hardly even make love. How boring.
Imagine, I get to sleep like a log, I can skip social functions, I don't have to cook and clean. I can look as shabby as a 5 year old.
Yes, I don't say marriage doesn't have its brighter side, (at least that's what the couples claimed)....
Lets c, anytime sex (duhh...whatever)
Companionship (for what? movies? outings?....)
Extra bank balance (greedy people...)
babies (ohh....dum dum di dum)...big responsibility.. (but ok i agree)
So, babies are it...Marry for babies...
Ohh... then come this another set of weird couples, LDM (long distance marriage)..She stays in X place for her career...He stays in Y place for his career..They meet on weekends...maybe once a month...or one month a year...wine...dine...make out (i wouldn't say make love) because before they realize "love" its time for either the He or the She to rush back..
I mean. what is the use of marrying when you can't be together..except having the big "Married" tag and maybe a Facebook relationship status "He Married to She".. you are actually single..and at times frustrated... and and and Married people stray..Unmarried's date ;-)
How happily unmarried...... Laa dhiiii dahhhhh
* surveyed couples were from 26-32 and married fr over a year...when the stars of "being married"starts fading and bed of roses and coo-chi-coos become more practical...
* this is written from a female point of view only.
And I realized, only GETTING married is fun..(Read GETTING real loud)..like princess for a day...shopping...spa...new wardrobe..stuff...post marriage...rather post honeymoon period doesn't sound so much fun...
I spoke to a few of my (middle class and upper middle class) friends* and relative* women who are recently married, like a year or maybe 2.
I specified middle class and upper middle class because the Richie rich's have cooks and don't work for a living
All of them seem to be so stuck up. Meaning get up at 6, cook, go to work, come back, cook, clean. ..sleep...they hardly even get to have a proper talk with their partners...
and its obvious...a tired partner will lose his or her cool and fights happen...
Weekends too get up as early as 8am (god, I have very rarely seen 8am on a Saturday)... weekend goes in cleaning..attending social functions as a couple...and those must-go obligatory lunches and dinner you get invited to..and if sports...and newspapers and other distractions are through that the couple would talk...if its not bedtime by then that is...
You have to look proper too, since you are the bahu of the house
It was shocking, to hear that a year old or a little more, couples hardly even make love. How boring.
Imagine, I get to sleep like a log, I can skip social functions, I don't have to cook and clean. I can look as shabby as a 5 year old.
Yes, I don't say marriage doesn't have its brighter side, (at least that's what the couples claimed)....
Lets c, anytime sex (duhh...whatever)
Companionship (for what? movies? outings?....)
Extra bank balance (greedy people...)
babies (ohh....dum dum di dum)...big responsibility.. (but ok i agree)
So, babies are it...Marry for babies...
Ohh... then come this another set of weird couples, LDM (long distance marriage)..She stays in X place for her career...He stays in Y place for his career..They meet on weekends...maybe once a month...or one month a year...wine...dine...make out (i wouldn't say make love) because before they realize "love" its time for either the He or the She to rush back..
I mean. what is the use of marrying when you can't be together..except having the big "Married" tag and maybe a Facebook relationship status "He Married to She".. you are actually single..and at times frustrated... and and and Married people stray..Unmarried's date ;-)How happily unmarried...... Laa dhiiii dahhhhh
* surveyed couples were from 26-32 and married fr over a year...when the stars of "being married"starts fading and bed of roses and coo-chi-coos become more practical...
* this is written from a female point of view only.
Hey Dee,
ReplyDeleteDunno whats with you and marriage...ur blog speaks of it a lot :-)
Be it being in the shopping scene for getting a right product (read Mr. Right) or juxtaposed in a to be or not to be situation. Ladoo khana bhi hai aur pachtana bhi nahi? But dont worry u are not the only person in this catch 22 situation.Skim thru the pages of time and you will meet some great philosopher,writers, scientists
who have tasted and tried explaining this flavor - Marriage.
Perhaps what Socrates said about marriage was from his experience...He married twice...
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
Then there was Mr. e=mc2 Einstein who said
“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
I think he couldnt decipher the logic behind a successful marriage with 2 such experience which made him look like the guy from the tv commercial 'laga laga laga laga shock laga' or he did not have the mcbs then to avoid such shocks :P
In such dark clouds we do see some silver linings like Andy Rooney the American radio and television writer, notable for his weekly broadcast "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney," a part of the CBS News program.He rightly said
“Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80%of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!”
and the one that i like and agree the most is from Elizabeth Gilbert best known for her New York Times Best Seller listed novel Eat, Pray, Love
“People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.”
The book Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage is a thorough examination of the institution of marriage from a multitude of historical and modern perspectives — including that of people, particularly women, reluctant to marry. In the book, Gilbert also includes perspectives on same-sex marriage and compares this to interracial marriage prior to the 1970s.
* Copy pasted from multiple sources and thankful to the original contributor :-)
Regards,
Shekhar
Shekar... I love your comments..
ReplyDeleteI guess the man becomes the philosopher...n the woman becomes the what?
//women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage// LMAO Applause
Till now it was about finding men n getting married in other posts...first time i tried to look beyond the GETTING MARRIED part.....Live and Exclusive from the experienced and of the same age group themselves
I think Live-in relations are the best option... but the 19th century semi-traditional me doesn't approve of it... *sigh*
Shadi ka ladoo khana padega...kisai bakre ho halal hona padega...effing awesome life....
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Lol! Okay - so I have been married for 7 and in love for 11. I don't agree to 'all' the above points. I am married, stay as messy as I can, don't have to get up to cook, I get up to cycle to yoga. Guess you get the drift. The idea is to marry for right reasons :)
ReplyDelete