Stalker

I leave for work by about 8.30 in the morning...I happen to see him on the road lazing almost every day...He does look at me but never moved a muscle...I avoided crossing his path as far as possible...He has a kind of scary, shabby look to him..

Until that day, I was passing by him like everyday but today he moved, he looked at me straight in the eye... I started walking as fast as possible but my eyes were riveted back to to him....just to see him right on my heels...matching his steps with mine..

My heart was goin all thud thud thud...I wanted to run as fast as possible..I could but my feet didn't  seem to move faster than it was...maybe it was fear...fear of him...fear of the look on his face...

I tired a lot to concentrate on the road but knowing that he was right behind me was scaring me to death...In a few moments...he was almost so close that I felt him trying to pull my dupatta.....I gave the loudest scream possible....the shout for help, the shout out of fear..

My scream instigated him further...so much so that..he cornered me in the nearest parked car and started barking all around me.... 

That stupid brown dog

Guys, dont beat me for this...Dogs really scare the living daylights out of me...I freeze when they are around or tug whoever is walking with me or I cross the road or do anything possible to get away from them...they are just plain scary...

Convey-or

Some people are blessed with life full of insane excitements....I sure am 1 of them...

I think when God was distributing craziness I would have been in the first 10 to receive it and when God was distributing brains I would have been in last 10 (bacha kucha idhar udhar ka rejected maal daal diya)...

Well...this is this really funny thing happened with me a few weeks back (though at that time it wasnt funny at all..it was serious business *serious face*)

I had a flight from somewhere to Mumbai and this flight had a stopover at Chennai and from there had to take a next flight to Mumbai...

I had a late night flight..like 2am at Chennai..so here my flight was this little airbus with just hardly 20 odd nocturnal passengers and we reached Chennai...."Welcome to Chennai International Airport (Anna terminal)"..."Please collect your luggage from Conveyor number 1 and transit passengers please collect you luggage and proceed to the Kamraj terminal. Thank you"

I always love conveyor belts..i dunno why..from the time I was a kid I always wanted to sit on it and go around once...welll...some wishes don't change over the years.....

Ok..back to "Anna Terminal in Chennai International Airport"...we were waiting at the luggage pick-up belt for a long time...almost 20 minutes and at 2am with only a handful of people and the belt not moving an inch was frustrating everyone....we had 3 chinese people with us (to be specific "chinese looking" men)...they looked around for a few mintues and then quietly one of them crawled in the conveyor opening..and after a few minutes emerged with 3 bags and calmly walked off...

This got me so excited that I wanted to whistle and scream Yipppeeee.....and ohhh yess..I followed their suit and  crawled on the stationary belt and got my two small bags out and came out grinning ear to ear...

Every other passenger did they same under the "watchful eyes" of the Airport security..cussing and cursing the airline...
I would love to do this again...and this time i would walk on the whole length of the conveyor belt and crawl in through the other end :P


Chennai Airport ku Whistle Podu

Office Ofish

WARNING: SOME CONTENT MAY SOUND ADULTISH..NOT SUITED FOR PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY ARE KIDS AND THOSE WHOSE BRAINS HAVEN'T TURNED 18 YET.

In my work place we got a few unique characters and their unique one of a kind dialogs that become so patent..the the moment it is said....for a second people are stunned..and next moment people are in splits..

I being the Commercial Admin have to meet everyone from the Housekeeping staff to security to engineers to top management...and I have my best time with the housekeeping, security and the engineers (unintentionally uncouth at times)

Level 5
In this level the dialogs are hilarious but they dont rank the top..

One of our officers who has a very screechy voice and cant say "jh"was "accused" of a wrong accounting and she got so frantic and started wailing "naaaaahhhiii ye sab chuuuuttttt (jhuttt) hai...maine aisa koooch nahi kiya"

Level 4
This is this engineer who was checking out a new receptionist...and accidentally blurted out "Savita bhabhi maal hai......" and his boss was passing by him giving him this "i-saw-her-too" look

Level 3
There is this woman who not many people are fond of coz she is too showy and bossy....

We get our evening teas to our tables....one day the office boy was late to get the tea and this female (AJ) was like
AJ: "Omi, tu chai banavto ke kada banavto...." (Omi, you making tea or sumthng else) and
Omis reply was
" Piyaycha aahe tar piya, majha doka satakla aahe, ha cha tumcha dokyavar taakun denaar" (drink if you want to, i have already lost my cool and i will put this tea on your head)

AJ was stunned....next time on she never ever whined to Omi.

Level 2
My office boy and one of my security staff...both love to talk...and they have so so so many stories about their village...
My office boy swears a lot...and his favorite word is "Bhenc*** and Madar****"...In one sentence he will use these words trice..
His all time favorite dialog before starting a story  is "Arreee...shahab..Scene-shot suno na......"..His nick name "Scene-shot"

My security guy...a very shy, calm, 6 foot tall, muscular guy....whenever he is frustrated he has a unique swear word "tuchhh praani or zalil insaaan"

Both these words have become a rage at my work place...

Last but the best...this one takes the cake..

Level 1
We have a lady in our housekeeping staff..she was supposedly married very early and has 6 kids...she got into an argument with Scene-shot (office boy) once for something he said like "aap to bhuddhi ho gai, aap se ye kaam nahi ho sakta"(you are old you can do this sort of work)


For which she very confidently replied without even batting an eyelid..."aye Omi aisa mat bol...mei abhi bhi bacha paida kar sakti hu"(aye Omi, dun say that i can still bear kids)...All she wanted to say was am not old and I can still work well

Omi was stunned...we had this O shape expression on our face....This dialog is so famous that for anything and everything people have started using this....


How i love all this.....

Nosy Sattelite

There is this woman I know for like forever now..I think she just loves to put me into awkward situations where I feel like an ostrich (feel like burying my head in the ground)..well lemme explain..

This super memory, super prying, bullying, "sattelite" aunty met me at a wedding..and out-of the-blue asks me..."Dee, you remember you fell in the gutter with the bicycle...ho ho ho that was sooooo funnyyyyyy" (something that happened when I was in my 8th std)....Childhood.....i was a crazy kid...doin crazy stuff then....that doesn't mean she embarrass me now

Crazy Situation 1:
Whenever I used to ride my cycle to my dance classes, i always felt like Valentino Rossi on his bike...I used to pretend to be a racer in my head...Once, on a rainy evening when I was returning back..as usual I turned my bicycle like a drift-queen and..baaaannggg....directly put in on a woman..

I fell in the gutter...the woman fell on the road...cycle fell on my head...to top it all..this woman beats me with the umbrella screaming abuses in Gujarati..

The mean aunty stands in the corner of the road and gives a vicious smile....

Crazy Situation 2:
I was in the 7th Std and my mom used to work in VT (Victoria Terminus) now CST (Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus) and we were to meet at 2.30pm...as usual I was late and had to get a train..

In my station, there are 4 platforms
Platform 1 (thane side slow trains).
Platform 2 (vt side slow trains)
Platform 3 (thane side fast trains)
Platform 4 (thane side fast trains)...P.S Thane and VT are in opposite directions

I was in Platform 2...since the train was late....A Fast train on 4 to Vt and  a train to Thane on 3 came and the doors were adjacent...I ran into 3 jumped through it into the fast train to VT and went off "safely"..only to realize the thrashing i got from dad thanks to this nosy aunty complaining with added "masala" details..

Crazy Situation 3.
I have always had the fascinations to ride on a truck, or a tempo or a road-roller...Once when i was in my 1st year..my engineering classes used to end late and i used to reach home by 11.30pm.

There was some road work goin on and a few road-rollers around...the road was deserted (so i thought)..i requested, pleaded and persuaded the road-roller uncle to give me a small ride on it and he agreeed seeing the pouting little girl...I was on the 9th cloud on that bulling machine...felt like the mighty warrior princess...then as soon as i got off it.....there were a few guys smoking in the dark n staring at me as if i have committed a heinous crime ....and of course my "guardian devil" aunty looking at me with steam venting off her ears...she dragged me to my place lecturing me on un-ladylike behavior all the way to parents feet....again added "masalas" to my dad......telling them hoe embarrassed "she" was to see me with a road worker (as if she caught m kissing him right on his lips)....and mini hell broke loose...

I dont understand..how on this earth does this "satellite"maami come to know that am upto something?

Nosey Mystery.........

Bus ek Pal

Commuting back and forth to my work place is like running around a minefield full of landmines about to blast on your face the moment your toe touches them...how?

Well...I get a snail bus to n fro for my work that is forever over-crowded, sandwiched tired and stinky travelers rubbing against one another and at least one person screaming obscenities and cribbing about anything and everything in and around the bus.

And everytime I have to run for the bus like blood hounds are after my life or jump in front of the bus like a suicide bomber and scare the bus driver until he starts hurling abuses at me. Somehow I manage to get into the nauseotic bus and look around for the faint hope of a seat..(luckily mumbai has something known as ladies seat..."Haakk se maango")...but soon I lose hopes...and get mentally ready to be punched,pushed and battered..

In the meanwhile, Someone moves a little and hopes for a seat go up again, just to realize this person was "adjusting" themselves..I hate such people..."umid deke lath marte hai"...Then I hate people who sleep in the buses too...Cant they jus see how the squashed standees feel? insensitive people...feel like beating them and saying "sone k liye baita hai kya"..

In case some miracle happens and I get a seat...I feel like India jus won the World Cup in 2011 type feeling...coz it is a rare occurrence..

I have to get up 20 mins before my stop to reach the door cutting through tall stinky armpits..thanks to my miniature stature...screaming at them...returning abuses..swearing loudly...and by the time i reach the door I look like someone right out of the "Mumbai Police 3rd degree torture room"

Then when my minority stop finally arrives..either I have to scream at the driver to stop or just jump off the bus...Hallelujah that Im still alive and in one piece...


But, even after so much of butchering, there are tired smiles and hopes that really make this city lively.... God Bless...
I love Mumbai

The Mirror

Mirror...Mirror..Mirror

Mirror..Mirror..Mirror on the Wall...Who is the fairest of them all?

To this Mirror..the only one he loved was precious of them all

He has seen her grow from a girl to a woman

He has caressed her like no man ever can..

He has gasped as she stood in front of him with those long black locks

He wanted to have his fingers run through those..

He has loved those dark brown soulful kohl-ed eyes

He wanted to whisper sweet nothings in her ears

He has admired her luscious lips

He wanted to kiss them a thousand times

He is charmed by her slender hips

He has longingly gazed at the perfect breasts

He has embraced her reflection in himself

She had no idea of her admirer itself...

How he wish he could tell her

But, He is her mirror after all....

Wish You were Mine..Now and Forever

I was in this meeting in a real beautiful sea facing restaurant and was least interested in what the opposite person was saying...all my attention was diverted at the vast expansion of the sea...blue skies...and the cool breeze..
Just then I was thinking...of a letter from a lone lover to his a love that he can never get in his life...

Dear Wind,

I have been in love with you for as long as I know.
I love the way you stir the emotions deep inside me. You have that effect on me that can do miracles to me..
I love the way you kiss me....I lose myself when you get all wild..
You move me like no one else can ever do,
Your delicate touch creates a wave of feelings in me.
Your careless teasing creates a ripple of different emotions in me..

You are not mine but I can't see you with the skies too..it makes go all crazy and I do things that make me guilty later.
I want to reach out to you and hold you in my arms..but I know you belong to not to me...all I can do is feel your silken touch on me..
I would love you as long as there are stars in the sky.

Deeply Madly Wildly Yours
Sea

Back in Time....When I was a kid

Last eve, when I was coming back from work..I saw lot many kids in my building playing..exams over..tension free...enjoying vacations..just then I realized..these kids hardly play all the fun games that we used to play in our school time ("our school time" sounds like I'm from some dinosaur age)..but that is that..(I'm old enough to not have school vacations anymore)

We had such beautiful childhood, now even getting up at 10 am on a holiday seems like "too early"... back then...we friends used to get up at 6 am during the holidays...take our bi-cycles to the hill...run to the top to the temple and come back...
Have our breakfasts and run back to play...come back for lunch n play at home..around 5 pm something back to play down..till dinner...then eat our dinners as fast as possible and lastly come down back to play badminton..

I remember the Re.1 pepsi-colas..n watermelons every afternoon...

We had so so so many games then..Aatli baatli Futli, Chupa-Chupi, Pakda-Pakdi, Building pakda-Pakdi, sakli, Lagori, Cutting the Cake, Chippy, Bombay Statue, Dabba Spies, Relay, Land or water, Color-color, fire in the mountain,Langdi, Kho-kho, Dodge-ball, Abadubi...Gawdd..I wanna relive my kiddie dayyzzz..

In the noons at home, it was ghar-ghar, scrabble, ludo, snake n ladders,business,name place animal thing,ex-zero,T game,..

Kids these days...stick to computers..facebook..n stuff like that..all the fun is gone....How bad is that??? they are missing all the fun

I want my kiddy days back....

My True Love Story

THE INCIDENT IS BASED ON A TRUE STORY ANY RESEMBLENCE TO THE SAME IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL...


It was then and it is now..Its been so long..I had totally forgotten about him..But, the moment my eyes fell on him after all these years I know he was meant to be with me..now and forever...

Going back in time, there was never a moment when we were not together..holding hands..walking in the parks..cuddling on the sofa at home..
His soft hands always hugged me every night..comforted me through all my pains..wiped my tears..made me smile always..
His deep brown eyes always searching for me...He was beaten..pulled.kicked..bruised..still he didn't leave my side then...
I was in love with him..even in his most horrible state I loved him with all my heart..

Time went by...circumstances changed..and he vanished in deep darkness..until that eve..

I was walking by..least expecting to find him there after all these years..Amidst the thick smoke of dust..he was there...I laid my hands on him and still could feel the softness..his eyes still had the same depth..just a little old now..

After all these years..I found him back..my love...my sweet...my little black teddy...

--Deepa

Tying a "NOT"

Nothing happening..nothing much to talk about..but yet again as usual when am traveling my mind races faster than a jet plane.. Today I was thinking..

Like I am back on the "matrimony market" again..This is a market where all are "shopping" and all are "selling"...Damnn,..this really is a market where the whole family goes for "bride/groom" shopping..loaded with toilet paper long checklist of requirements to be fulfilled.
Here the salespersons are the parents and the products on sale are the kids (bride/groom)..and the sales people do everything to see to it that their product is sold to the right "customer" with a fairly "good price"....and here a good sales deal ends up with the barter of the kids to each sides of the parents a.k.a marriage..the deal closes ..Dukaaan banndd

So as a "back on the stall product", my parents are gearing back themselves with their marketing and shopping skills with eagle eyes now...

Shopping Spree 1: 

Ma n Pa were approached by a sales person,Distributing pamphlets (Read horoscopes/matrimony ad's et al) with the attributes of their specimen..

Sales people glances up to me...requests for a pamphlet..looks at me & sharply replies

“Your product dusnt fit our super long check-list”......They just turned their back and walk away.

Ma n Pa move on to the subsequent stalls..but they din seem to be amused with the quality of products displayed in the market these dayz..and people who came shopping went away saying things like..

"too bold”, “injured” or“too old”...“Too exposed to the outside world”...“not really traditional as product not in a saree..”

After a lot of initial scanning and pamphlet requirement match that the shoppers bother to see the "product" on sale...see their check list...go on ticking like

height-check, 

weight-check, 

job-check, 

cooks-check, 

smiles-check, 

sings-oppss..no check and they turn away..

I mean like what do they expect their daughter in law to go ga-ga-ga in their house...ridiculous

There are this another set of self-proclaimed horoscope fans shoppers for whom the "pamphlet called horoscope" has to mandatorily match...

And an another better shoppers/sales people are willing to "sample" their product (girl-boy meet and talk)..who are cooler to deal with..

If God forbid all the criteria seem to match and both the parties are satisfied with their deals..the contract sign" (read: wedding ceremony) takes place...and there is major BBC headline merger of companies that happen...

I wish we had an option to "try" the product we like else "alter" it to our requirements...

Hallelujah to my wild imagination!!!!

Up Up In the Air

I have been flying like very frequently for my work, generally my flights are booked in those uneartlynocturnal hours or booked so late that all you can see is darkness n little lights around...In all thses flights am either sleepy or I shove my headphones and go into the thinking mode for my next "statergies" of work (All my travels are 99% work related..that too short not more than 1 day trip).
But today, for once I got my flight booked in a human hour when the sun is smiling bright, people are fresh et al...

Till now in my like 2 years and 25 odd flights I have never really bothered to look at the runway or other flights or anything around (Though I specifically request for a window seat)...This time I didn't have my headphones, thanks to my new phone that I didn't really know to use so I was actually staring out of my window when I saw this "Whooossssshhhh....eeeeennnnkkk...." landing of another flight..I have this facination for aircrafts..military or otherwise..This landing got my eyes go all wide..(I felt like a little kid in front of its favourite hero)..

Well..then soon my flight got taxing the runway slowly then "dud ..dud...dud..dud" it speeded up...and up in the air in a few moment..this got me so exicitied that I had to litereally control screaming "whoopieee"..
Mumbai...looking like a neatly stacked little blocks packed together and a lot of concrete jungle getting smaller and smaller and rods running parallel...waterways snaking a curve to its way to the arabian sea...and the vast blue strech of arabian sea n front at 971 km/hr and 9000 meters above...It was a lovely sunny day and slowly the flight went above to kiss the clouds and low enough to keep it feet to the ground...flying on Gujarat surface slowly the visible transition of the land was visible from plush greenery of maharashtra to semi greenery od gujarat to the sands racing over rajishtan land full of desert..the scene looked like a minimised Google Maps..jus real and so very colourful and enchating...
Few unexpcted phoogenic, mindblowing views passed by...I jus could not figure out of what it was...it stood out in a diferent colour (it could be somewhere in between Ajmer and Udaipur)..totally out of this world..
Then the flight slowly moved to reach the captial... But, it was hovering in circles..Why?...Who knows?..
full circle hen it moved around Karnal to Meerut..then I was like "Yaar..niche utarega ya petrol haave mei hi waste Karega"..

After a good 43 minutes Mr. Pilot brought the Live Google maps to land at delhi...

But I must say I love take offs more than landings...I like my head in the sir and feet firmly planted on the ground...

There my work starts...Good-Bye...and now I will notice things in every flight...