#Barathon Day 3: Three Is a Crowd

They were a happy couple, no doubt in that space. They had been married for 12 years, they looked absolutely adorable together.
Initially, for the first 2 years, they did not want a baby since they wanted to be financially and emotionally ready for a baby. Then, later their career progressed and neither of them were ready to take the responsibility of a baby. 5 years went by, they started trying to conceive, they tried naturally for a year, it did not happen.
They consulted doctors, and realized that they might need to go for IUI or IVF procedures.
They did go through the painful IVF's trice, which drained them emotionally, mentally, physically and financially. Finally, after few years, they gave up.
They travel, they meet friends, they look happy together, they have everything, but when they are alone, they long for a little baby that called them "Mummy & Daddy"

Last, week she has been feeling sick, she has been drowsy all day and feeling faint. All day, she has been having the pukey feeling. She looked pale. So he suggested a doctor's visit, the physician told her everything was fine, but asked her to do some blood tests just to rule out any possibility of internal infection.
The blood test showed a result that was totally unexpected and a shocking surprise. It tested positive for pregnancy.
They could not believe it so they did a home pregnancy test five times and all showed dark double lines. Even that wasn't convincing for them, so they went for an ultrasound and saw a tiny thing wriggling in her tummy. She was confirmed to be pregnant after 12 years, at the age of 38.
Their happiness knew no bounds.

They say Two is a Company & Three is a Crowd...Is it really?

Sometimes when we chase something we might not get it, but when we stop chasing, miracles can happen.

This post is written for #Barathon Day 3, Theme: Three is a Crowd

#Barathon 2018: Day 2: Lesser of the Two evils

I am you. You are me. But, I feel I am nicer than you
I hate you with all my heart. I hate what you do to me
I hate what you make me do.
I am nice, I am the lesser of the two evils

I try my best to see that you do not take over me
I tear my hair, I cry my eyes out
But, you get to me faster and I hate myself all over again
But, deep inside I am nice, I am the lesser of the two evils

You made me lose the people I love
You made me do things that I dread
I stand here and fight with you, to an outsider I might look like I am talking to myself
But little so they know that the bigger evil is you.

I am going to end this tonight
I am going to put up with a fight
There is no right or wrong here. All is just wrong
I will not let you take over me ever again
I am the lesser of the two evils.

I turn back and look into the mirror, a sudden realization hits me
It was never you, it was always me.
I am evil, I am bad, there are no two evils but one
And the one is me.

The realization has hit me hard
I am not sure what to do.
But, I am going to do a favor on everyone
And go away forever, I cut my wrist and smile.
I see the evilness flowing away from me
I see light, I see heaven.

I am not running away this time, I am slowing down to look back
I am sorry for hurting everyone around

But, I am the evil, I am the nice, I am me

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Mental disorders are very hard to detect. It needs care and compassion. It can be treated. Take one step forward and there are million hearts ready to help. Suicide is no solution. Living life and facing problems needs guts.

This post is written for Barathon Day 2: Theme is Run/Sprint/Marathon/Chase

#Barathon 2018: Day 1: One Too Many

We had a heated argument regarding a prolonged issue at home. I hated myself for saying things I shouldn't have, I wanted to cry out loud, but I didn't want to look like I am weak or I am losing the argument.
So I put on my running shoes and ran out of the house, I jumped down alternate stairs. I ran on the street without knowing which direction I am heading to.

In the mid of a weekday afternoon, running on the street wearing home clothes, running shoes and million stares did not matter. My mind was busy evaluating of what went wrong, we were happy, why did this issue come up, what can I say to convince them that I am right.
Tears stung in my eye but refuse to flow.

I ran a few blocks, I saw kids alighting the school bus, I saw mothers with toddlers, I saw a few cabs, I saw people smiling and helping each other. Seeing people, made me momentarily forget my problems, but I couldn't find an answer to my issue nonetheless, but it didn't hurt that much now.
I wondered, how a few people can have so much influence in my life, that even their simple words could make so much impact to my being.

PC

I asked questions to myself, but couldn't get any answers.

I ran, I ran some more, I reached the garden in the end of the road which had a lot of trees. The flowers bloomed, the kids played. It was a happy place, I could feel my feet slowing down. I stopped to smell the freshly tilled earth, I stood there for a few moments to smell the roses.

I saw a man cleaning old leaves, then I realized, nothing lasts forever, the dried old leaves were green and happy once. Some wind blew them down, and they lie there rotten.
Instantly I got answers to my problems, my family is my forever, and they won't last. I can't stop one issue from ruining my happy place.

So I started running again, but this time with a smile on my face. I wanted to run as fast as my feet could take me. I have made up my mind to apologize and I promise myself that this time we will find a solution without flaring tempers and tears.

My running shoes helped me find gratitude on a day when I thought was the gloomiest.

This post is written for Barathon Day 1 - Theme of Day: Run/Marathon/Sprint/Chase