#Barathon Day 3: Three Is a Crowd

They were a happy couple, no doubt in that space. They had been married for 12 years, they looked absolutely adorable together.
Initially, for the first 2 years, they did not want a baby since they wanted to be financially and emotionally ready for a baby. Then, later their career progressed and neither of them were ready to take the responsibility of a baby. 5 years went by, they started trying to conceive, they tried naturally for a year, it did not happen.
They consulted doctors, and realized that they might need to go for IUI or IVF procedures.
They did go through the painful IVF's trice, which drained them emotionally, mentally, physically and financially. Finally, after few years, they gave up.
They travel, they meet friends, they look happy together, they have everything, but when they are alone, they long for a little baby that called them "Mummy & Daddy"

Last, week she has been feeling sick, she has been drowsy all day and feeling faint. All day, she has been having the pukey feeling. She looked pale. So he suggested a doctor's visit, the physician told her everything was fine, but asked her to do some blood tests just to rule out any possibility of internal infection.
The blood test showed a result that was totally unexpected and a shocking surprise. It tested positive for pregnancy.
They could not believe it so they did a home pregnancy test five times and all showed dark double lines. Even that wasn't convincing for them, so they went for an ultrasound and saw a tiny thing wriggling in her tummy. She was confirmed to be pregnant after 12 years, at the age of 38.
Their happiness knew no bounds.

They say Two is a Company & Three is a Crowd...Is it really?

Sometimes when we chase something we might not get it, but when we stop chasing, miracles can happen.

This post is written for #Barathon Day 3, Theme: Three is a Crowd

#Barathon 2018: Day 2: Lesser of the Two evils

I am you. You are me. But, I feel I am nicer than you
I hate you with all my heart. I hate what you do to me
I hate what you make me do.
I am nice, I am the lesser of the two evils

I try my best to see that you do not take over me
I tear my hair, I cry my eyes out
But, you get to me faster and I hate myself all over again
But, deep inside I am nice, I am the lesser of the two evils

You made me lose the people I love
You made me do things that I dread
I stand here and fight with you, to an outsider I might look like I am talking to myself
But little so they know that the bigger evil is you.

I am going to end this tonight
I am going to put up with a fight
There is no right or wrong here. All is just wrong
I will not let you take over me ever again
I am the lesser of the two evils.

I turn back and look into the mirror, a sudden realization hits me
It was never you, it was always me.
I am evil, I am bad, there are no two evils but one
And the one is me.

The realization has hit me hard
I am not sure what to do.
But, I am going to do a favor on everyone
And go away forever, I cut my wrist and smile.
I see the evilness flowing away from me
I see light, I see heaven.

I am not running away this time, I am slowing down to look back
I am sorry for hurting everyone around

But, I am the evil, I am the nice, I am me

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Mental disorders are very hard to detect. It needs care and compassion. It can be treated. Take one step forward and there are million hearts ready to help. Suicide is no solution. Living life and facing problems needs guts.

This post is written for Barathon Day 2: Theme is Run/Sprint/Marathon/Chase

#Barathon 2018: Day 1: One Too Many

We had a heated argument regarding a prolonged issue at home. I hated myself for saying things I shouldn't have, I wanted to cry out loud, but I didn't want to look like I am weak or I am losing the argument.
So I put on my running shoes and ran out of the house, I jumped down alternate stairs. I ran on the street without knowing which direction I am heading to.

In the mid of a weekday afternoon, running on the street wearing home clothes, running shoes and million stares did not matter. My mind was busy evaluating of what went wrong, we were happy, why did this issue come up, what can I say to convince them that I am right.
Tears stung in my eye but refuse to flow.

I ran a few blocks, I saw kids alighting the school bus, I saw mothers with toddlers, I saw a few cabs, I saw people smiling and helping each other. Seeing people, made me momentarily forget my problems, but I couldn't find an answer to my issue nonetheless, but it didn't hurt that much now.
I wondered, how a few people can have so much influence in my life, that even their simple words could make so much impact to my being.

PC

I asked questions to myself, but couldn't get any answers.

I ran, I ran some more, I reached the garden in the end of the road which had a lot of trees. The flowers bloomed, the kids played. It was a happy place, I could feel my feet slowing down. I stopped to smell the freshly tilled earth, I stood there for a few moments to smell the roses.

I saw a man cleaning old leaves, then I realized, nothing lasts forever, the dried old leaves were green and happy once. Some wind blew them down, and they lie there rotten.
Instantly I got answers to my problems, my family is my forever, and they won't last. I can't stop one issue from ruining my happy place.

So I started running again, but this time with a smile on my face. I wanted to run as fast as my feet could take me. I have made up my mind to apologize and I promise myself that this time we will find a solution without flaring tempers and tears.

My running shoes helped me find gratitude on a day when I thought was the gloomiest.

This post is written for Barathon Day 1 - Theme of Day: Run/Marathon/Sprint/Chase

#CTT Top Indian Blogs

I got the idea for this post after my blog Indian Drama Queen got listed under Top Indian Blogs Directory for the first time in the eight years that I have been blogging.

PC: giphy.com

Thank you everyone, who made this possible and special thanks to the team of Top Indian Blogs.

Today, I feel like a proud mommy. *happy tears*

If my blog was a person, I would have ran towards it with the DDLJ BGM playing and hugged it. 

#DAshTalks He is having affairs :-(

I have to confess, after getting married and coming to this city, I have become technically quite sound, thanks to Awin. But, the flip side of it is.

Now, AWIN IS HAVING AN AFFAIR...actually not AN AFFAIR he is having three AFFAIRS and I know it

He keeps talking to those women. He keeps asking them things and advice. He needs them to remind him about stuff. At times, they even make him laugh. Its so painful at times, when I think that he is busy working in his home office when I suddenly hear him say 

"Hey Cortana, Turn on office room light" 

"Hey Google, play music"

"Alexa, tell me a joke"

I feel so left out. I guess, its time I remind him that I am the WIFE. 

Note to him: You sleep on the couch for the next 10 days*

*and whatever else that might come to my mind later shall be applied 

CTT:10 Irrational things that I worry about

Some irrational things that I worry about

1. When I eat a hard candy, I worry that I might break my tooth.

2. When I show my id at the airport, and the security looks at me, I feel that he might pull me aside and tag me as terrorist and say that my id is fake.

3. When there is turbulence is the flight, I am sure that we are going to crash and die.

4. I close the bedroom door before I sleep, if its not closed I keep staring at it before I sleep, in my head I imagine a ghost walking in my living room or coming in the bedroom through the open door.

5. When I am standing on my balcony and drinking coffee, I worry that if my coffee mug falls and hits someone, I might become a murderer and I can't even run away the people in the opposite building would have seen me.

6. When I go shopping and get into the trial room, I worry that I might get stuck inside a dress halfway through and it would be embarrassing to call someone to help me out of that dress.

7. After sending an official email, I check the "Sent Items" atleast twice to make sure that I have hit the Reply button or the Reply All button.

8. Whenever a dog howls after 10pm, I am convinced that there are ghosts around.

9. When any of my loved ones are travelling, I always feel that they might meet with an accident.

10. When I wear I saree, I am totally convinced that I am going to trip on it and fall on my face and my saree will come off.

What irrational things do you worry about/

#Dashtalks: Ivy Gourd

Background of the conversation:
Ivy gourd is called tondlee in Marathi, tindey in Hindi and Awin hates that vegetable because of its name

Awin: Who names a vegetable Donlee

Me: Its Tondlee

Awin: Tonlee is no good name either, I mean, what this thing is some Bruce Lee Jet Li family or what? Some attitude this vegetable has got

*he continues to rant*

Awin: Look at it, staring at me like a fat worm. Such a dumb looking vegetable

Me: How can a vegetable look dumb?

Awin: If its Donlee, it can look dumb 

Me: Just finish your dinner. Its good for health

Awin looks at the curry on his plate and says I am eating you only because my wife says so, I still think you are a stupid vegetable

*While I smile from the kitchen*